Long rambling thing. Sort of update on where I'm at; not much to report otherwise.

2021.09.26 18:19 rekreative Long rambling thing. Sort of update on where I'm at; not much to report otherwise.

This is touted so often that it'd be a total cliche if it weren't for the fact that it's quite solid advice: I need to focus on myself.
Not exactly a stunning revelation. I've known and even attempted it here and there, but I've not been good at sticking to it. What's occurred to me recently is how much of an absolute mess I am internally. I have a shitload of trauma I've largely been in denial about, because I've always been (or thought I'd been) good with just rolling with whatever shit was thrown my way. But, facing it now, two DBs of varying degrees, a history of emotional and physical abuse, and various bits of shit have left a bit of a stain. It's buried, and quite well, but it's there.
My physical (chronic pain) and mental (anxiety with a side of depression) have been weighing on me heavily for some time, too. Amplified by desperately trying to get my beloved cat taken care of due to her illness this year, being an emotional wreck knowing all they can do is "slow it down". I'm tired and I feel diluted.
There's not been much movement in the sex life for awhile. Again. I reached a point of acceptance some time ago, but that doesn't exactly mean that I'm perfectly cool with it. We have what we have and it's a lot better than most, albeit unconventional. I get mine often and well enough and I've accepted that all the love and patience and support can't make him overcome his own insecurity and self loathing. I can't deny that I don't have some mourning that everything I've done hasn't been enough to do so, though.
I've made diluting my sexuality a bit of a practice for so long that it's pretty much instinctual, and that's something I wish to rewire. Thankfully I can say I did at least take care of the "pressure" issue and he no longer feels threatened by the mere existence of me as a sexual being. My problem is I have a hard time feeling embodied as such completely independently. Sex has always been very much about the energetic exchange for me. Solo stuff felt bland in comparison. "Why bother?" Maybe that's tied to some subconscious feelings of self worth. I don't know.
So that's where I am - a bit of a mess bit trying to get myself together. Trying to figure out how to prioritize myself, that whole "self care" thing people talk about, learning how to date myself (not a euphemism, but maybe "that" too). And then just enjoying (thoroughly) what I do get, when I get it, and avoiding being tainted by frustration and the bits of resentment that pop up time to time.
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2021.09.26 18:19 duckgod100 i wonder what i will get

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2021.09.26 18:19 DarthVarn ***BREAKING NEWS*** There's a rumour going around that there's going to be a shortage of greenhouse gases, plastic waste, dog poop bags hanging on trees and homeless people! Take as many home as possible before they're all gone! Has anyone heard of other impending shortages?

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2021.09.26 18:19 appleslice34 Someone should figure out why all of these people are sleeping on the floor

Someone should figure out why all of these people are sleeping on the floor submitted by appleslice34 to teenagersbutpog [link] [comments]

2021.09.26 18:19 Dadestark2 [H] JetBrains, UNiDAYS, Edu email with Unlimited Google Drive, Canva with Pro features, and many more [W] PayPal/BTC/ETH/LTC

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2021.09.26 18:19 modern-relaxation Best Air Fryer Tower Sound For Argos Great Noise For Sleep Sounds And Relax Noises

Best Air Fryer Tower Sound For Argos Great Noise For Sleep Sounds And Relax Noises submitted by modern-relaxation to videos [link] [comments]

2021.09.26 18:19 Crashbannoca Khajiit floppa (credit to @kinofabino)

Khajiit floppa (credit to @kinofabino) submitted by Crashbannoca to bigfloppa [link] [comments]

2021.09.26 18:19 jevonsen Castle Leod, Scotland

Castle Leod, Scotland submitted by jevonsen to castles [link] [comments]

2021.09.26 18:19 empathyx Flyers legend Leach faced racism at the rink

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2021.09.26 18:19 2847283838 How to manage stress during pandemic?

I was leading up to what felt like remission until a stressful event happened a few days ago (trauma counsellor had to suddenly discharge me because she was leaving while I still had work to do, nightmares, etc.). Since then, I've been having loose stools and cramping even though they've stopped for months. I'm worried I'm going to into another flare because stress is my primary trigger.
How do you all manage your stress during these times? It's harder to see people and I still have a lot of social and health anxiety around seeing friends and taking transit. It's hard to work out like I normally do too because of joint and abdominal pain.
Is my only option just to lay in bed and go online or do something sedentary? Really in need of destressing tips so I don't enter another flare. Already feeling myself heavily avoiding food and feeling nauseous... I can't wait for my next infusion.
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2021.09.26 18:19 f3hunter Usman vs Covington 2

Usman vs Covington 2 submitted by f3hunter to mmamemes [link] [comments]

2021.09.26 18:19 RexRuger1500 (FREE) Big Scarr Type Beat 2021 - ''Headshots'' | Bigg Unccc Type Beat

(FREE) Big Scarr Type Beat 2021 - ''Headshots'' | Bigg Unccc Type Beat submitted by RexRuger1500 to beats [link] [comments]

2021.09.26 18:19 -Memoria- What’s the one character you know how to counter and you can beat but is still a pain in the ass to fight?

I’ll go first: Orochi
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2021.09.26 18:19 Bibble_Queen [F4A playing M] These are my favorite things.

Hi there! I’m 23 (Countdown to 24: 3 days), CST, and female!
Message me with your age, timezone (US Timezones Preferred), and a sample of your writing if you’re interested!
Partner requirements: must be 20 to 30 years old - Must play male - write in third person - 2+ paragraphs - SFW ONLY - must be able to post a few times a week, preferably a few times a day - good grammar and punctuation - Discord Only. Your own ideas are welcomed!
Tropes I’m into (despite how cliché they may be): bad boy x good girl, OC celebrities, vampires, werewolves, superhero x best friend, fun soulmate stuff (is it fate? Two rival families? Do they have matching markings or do they just know?), rivals (bands, gangs, families, sports, schools, etc.), enemies to lovers, Angel x Demon stuff, and so much more.
Fandoms we can discuss Star Wars, Marvel, ATLA, MHA, Disney Descendants, Harry Potter. I personally do not play as a canon character nor do I double, but would like someone else to play as one (OCs also welcomed and sometimes more preferred).
Looking to do a love story type Star Wars roleplay - preferred characters are force sensitive. I’m not into smugglers. Might be convinced by a bounty hunter.
Would love to find a Hawks, Dabi, Bakugo, or Todoroki for MHA.
For Harry Potter, I would love to be able to play against Draco Malfoy in our own twist on the story.
The other canon character I would love to play against is Zuko from Avatar the Last Airbender.
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2021.09.26 18:19 HubMeBro Brock & Belle nerfed. Again

Brock & Belle nerfed. Again submitted by HubMeBro to BSSniperSquad [link] [comments]

2021.09.26 18:19 joeythecat390 how to fix?? realm owner is on nintendo switch (bedrock)

how to fix?? realm owner is on nintendo switch (bedrock) submitted by joeythecat390 to Minecraft [link] [comments]

2021.09.26 18:19 A_seal_using_Reddit He be sleepy

He be sleepy submitted by A_seal_using_Reddit to aww [link] [comments]

2021.09.26 18:19 JustAClock567 Guns/synergies question

What guns/synergies show what items are in a chest.
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2021.09.26 18:19 ScaleVehicles R2800 1/48 engine completed.

R2800 1/48 engine completed. submitted by ScaleVehicles to PlasticModelKits [link] [comments]

2021.09.26 18:19 HHPhotographyWI The Morgue inside of an abandoned hospital in Chicago

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2021.09.26 18:19 throwaway_chl My best friend (18f) of two years and I (17m) haven't seen each other once, and I'm not sure she wants to

I reconnected with a schoolmate two years ago and we have been talking daily since. We are best friends and I know she cares for me and I care for her.
We last saw each other five to six years ago when we were in school. I've asked her a couple of times we should meet, but she always says later. Even though she really acts like a friend, I'm not sure if she really wants to meet me or not.
It's been two years since we started talking again, and... I just feel lonely. I want to see her, just want some human interaction in real life. She never says no, but always delays it. Now it's scheduled for next year, I don't even know if that's a reasonable time.
She never calls (although she does text at least once or twice a day) and when I asked her, she says no one calls her too. I don't know... I feel if she can't meet, at least facetime me or call me. I miss her.
I've explained this too. But I don't know why she only says "soon" or just "okay" like it's not a big deal. She says she never meets with her other friends too (she doesn't have many and it's true) but just a few months ago, she met with a friend even for a few minutes. And a couple of weeks ago, went to another friend to borrow some books.
Oh and we just live within one mile of each other. I feel hurt and I'm scared that maybe, she just doesn't want to meet me. But, we have been talking for two years straight... she calls me her best friend and I think no one can fake this for this long, right? Is there another reason? Maybe because I'm a male (both friends she met were females)?
tl;dr: bf (18f) of two years never asked about meeting up and always says "later" when i (17m) bring it up. and we live close to a mile of each other
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2021.09.26 18:19 hijo1998 Most educated bri*ish "person"

Most educated bri*ish submitted by hijo1998 to okmatewanker [link] [comments]

2021.09.26 18:19 AnonymousGuy1108 Doom From Sticks And Stones: Lisa & Doom Ost [ravedj]

Doom From Sticks And Stones: Lisa & Doom Ost [ravedj] submitted by AnonymousGuy1108 to lisathepainfulrpg [link] [comments]

2021.09.26 18:19 pradam21 Trouble Marriage, Need some help

I got married around 10 months back, I am 30 years old and my wife is 27 years old. my wife only stayed with me for 1.5 months then runway to her parents house, since then we're not in the same page. my wife is so demanding and she want luxurious life at my expense.I need to take her out every weekend and have food at expensive restaurant etc. She has nasty fluctuation mind and has no patience. moreover she don't want to live with my parents and wants to move out but I don't want to move out I want her to be with my parents for sometime. She has damaged my reputation in front her relatives and friends. I am so confused wheather I should get separate from her or Should work on the relationship even after so much mental torture. Please help me out.
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2021.09.26 18:19 Quebec_Flag flag of yemen

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